It’s not contagious, but you can die from the effects. It’s not something your doctor will routinely scan for. It has many symptoms, but it’s not a disease.
I discovered this mystery one weekend morning while halfway listening to TV. Suddenly I stopped what I was doing when I heard the morning anchor say. “the effect of loneliness on the baby boomer generation is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes or drinking six alcoholic drinks a day.”
Just then the phone rang, and I missed the rest of the story. It haunted my thoughts off and on for the next several days. You see, I am a lonely baby boomer. That’s when I did what every curious mind does; I consulted Google.
I was surprised at how much information I found in just a few minutes. And the impact it had on me.
Loneliness
Loneliness influences older Americans more than being overweight and not exercising. The Wall Street Journal stated that 25-percent of baby boomers either never married or is divorced and 9 percent don’t have a living child or partner. Medicare spends $7 billion a year on health issues related to loneliness and is significant in longer hospitalizations and nursing home confinement.
This news is scary for me because I saw myself in the above facts.
I discovered a website, Campaign To End Loneliness, that offered these documented facts.
Loneliness and physical health
- Loneliness increases the likelihood of mortality by 26% (Holt-Lunstad, 2015)
- The effect of loneliness and isolation on mortality is comparable to the impact of well-known risk factors such as obesity and has a similar influence as cigarette smoking (Holt-Lunstad, 2010)
- Loneliness is associated with an increased risk of developing coronary heart disease and stroke (Valtorta et al, 2016)
- Loneliness increases the risk of high blood pressure (Hawkley et al, 2010)
- Lonely individuals are also at higher risk of the onset of disability (Lund et al, 2010)
Loneliness and mental health
- Loneliness puts individuals at greater risk of cognitive decline (James et al, 2011)
- One study concludes lonely people have a 64% increased chance of developing clinical dementia (Holwerda et al, 2012)
- Lonely individuals are more prone to depression (Cacioppo et al, 2006) (Green et al, 1992)
- Loneliness and low social interaction are predictive of suicide in older age (O’Connell et al, 2004)
An article on WebMD by Nick Tate quoted a survey conducted by Cigna Health insurance stating that half of Americans felt alone or left out at least some of the time.
Then came the bombshell. “Millennials (ages 23-37) and Generation Z adults (18-22) are lonelier than any other US demographic and report having more health issues than older generations.”
What? Aren’t these the Social Media experts most having hundreds to thousands of “friends”?
The article went on to say over 54 percent stated they felt no one knows them well. Four in ten sited a lack of companionship, meaningful relationships, and isolation as contributing to their loneliness.
I will be perfectly honest. It took me a while to absorb all of the new information, and I prayed about the question in my heart. – What can I do?
Loneliness is a national epidemic. It affects your immunity, increases inflammation, contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, obesity, depression, type 2 diabetes, arthritis, Alzheimer’s and increases both physical and emotional pain.
Loneliness increases premature death by 26 percent making it worse for your health than smoking 15 cigarettes or drinking six cocktails a day.
Dr. Caroline Leaf states “More and more of us, of all ages, prefer aimlessly scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, online shopping apps or random things on our smartphones or devices than going out for coffee with a friend or talking with our neighbors. Although we are more connected, we are more isolated and disconnected than ever before.”
I don’t know about you, my friend, but I am looking forward to my lifespan to increase, and the quality of my life experiences improved. How about you?
Here is another truth that may be hard to believe; we can’t fix being lonely and isolated by ourselves. I’ve tried, and it’s like putting a band-aid on a gaping wound. The broken parts don’t heal.
Finding a solution isn’t as easy as it sounds.
Dr. Leaf states: “…we need to develop a community mindset if we want to thrive in life and if we want to help others as well.”
What Living in community is NOT
Living in community is not coming home to the same housing edition every night. Do you know your neighbors, have meaningful conversations with them, have meals with them or play games together?
Living in community is not the number of friends you have on Facebook or Instagram nor is it having one friend enabling you to shut the rest of the world out.
Living in community is not going to church, a community meeting, a workshop, or other activities you attend with others and stand on the sidelines feeling alone, not talking to anyone or only the people you vaguely know or. Getting involved is a part of Love in Action.
Living in community is not a commune where everyone lives together and attends to everyday living, meeting the needs of the group without concern about individual needs.
What Living in Community IS
The need we all share is the need to belong. To know we value others and they value us in everyday life. Our life is based on relationships. God made us that way on purpose – He wants to have a relationship with each of us. Jeff Vanderstelt, the teaching pastor of Doxa Church, states, “You are meant to play a part in equipping and encouraging others.” That is something all of us are called to do Love one another.
Living in Community is just that. We fulfill our need to belong and have quality relationships by taking action becoming a part of a group. By living our everyday life we practice encouraging, helping and loving others.
Living in Community is knowing our neighbors and being aware of what is happing with our neighbors.
Living in Community is developing meaningful and nurturing relationships within a group.
Living in Community is learning to have meaningful discussions with those around us even when you don’t agree. Conversations to learn about each other, and to listen to different points of view without judgment.
Living in Community is taking personal responsibility to participate where ever you are – church, community meetings, committees, and other group activities.
Living in Community breaks the loneliness epidemic by developing a mindset that life is better together. Engaging, encouraging and loving within a group holding a common interest, and morals. The group offers the sense of belonging which is essential. A community provides an atmosphere promoting growth personally and spiritually and developing relationships.
Finding your Answer
Find ways to have meaningful conversations, learn about those around you. Choose to initiate and keep a discussion going, even on topics you don’t agree. Listen without judgment.
Serving others is a way you can find a community. Volunteers are needed at hospitals, rehab centers, nursing homes, your local school serving teacher or helping students, food banks, community projects. What’s your passion? You can find a way to help others and reap health and mental benefits.
Isolation is dangerous. Get out of the house and keep trying activities or groups until you find one that fits you. If you are unable to do this yourself ask for help.
Step out of your comfort zone by reaching out. When you feel down, help someone else. You may be surprised what giving a hug or encouragement to someone else can do for you. Life can be difficult; everyone needs little encouragements along the way.
Don’t be ashamed to reach out to someone when you need help or encouragement. It is in reaching out that growth occurs. Relationships are a two-way street.
Did you recognize yourself as I did? It can be scary. How are you taking action?
February is the month everyone thinks of romantic love. Valentine’s day can also be the loneliest day of the year for the young and old alike.
Baby Boomers and Millennials and everyone in-between, before or after, Jesus commanded us to “Love your neighbor, (friend, others) as yourself.”
Seek out someone in another generation (20-25 years older or younger but must be at least 18 years old) Who you know or feel is lonely? It could be a family member or friend, a referral from someone else, or a stranger you are moved to talk to — a widow or widower. During February have at least two meaningful conversations with them. (Listen and be present in the conversation. Your goal is to get to know the other person) Discover who they are, what they like to do, their favorite food, what was the best trip they were on, or what is their pet peeve are starters.
Leave a comment on the blog page on what you discovered and if you experienced changes in how you felt by reaching out to someone else or state what “Love others as yourself” means to you.
There will be a different action step each week.
ON March 1st All comments in February will be counted and a winner drawn. Each comment counts as one entry. If you leave three comments, you get three entries.
The Grand Prize a Starbucks gift card!
