When I returned to the family cabin for the summer months my goal was to develop a community where I knew my neighbors. I invited the neighbors I saw to come to happy hour every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday which changed to Saturday. I wanted to get to know them, where they were from, what they liked. I knew that making new friends required me to make the first step and follow through.
People came the first two weeks, never repeating and I did learn a little bit about them. Then happy hour faded from their minds and I quit asking. We still visit whenever they have time on their walk or driving by. I always wave. I was wondering.
I am now looking at my last two weeks before I head back home to OKC. As much as I wish I could stay longer, I am looking forward to seeing my friends and being back at my church. There are just things we miss.
This week I am helping with Vacation Bible School at the little Vallecito Church I attend during my summer stay. This morning I joined my craft group in a conversation about pets when I arrived. As we took our seats, a new friend said to me, “When you came here you said your goal was to be in community. You have met your goal.”
Spontaneously I replied, “Yes, but it is not the community I thought it would be.”
Acceptance is the first step in building community. We all need to feel we belong in our community. Without acceptance, belonging doesn’t happen and we can’t force it.
Think about the communities you are a part of. What is the one thing contributing to your acceptance leading to you knowing you belong?
I will give you a hint—it requires you to take action.
Involvement.
Involvement has two keys; participation and contribution.
I will give you an example from my experience at Vallecito Church. Last Summer I spent seven weeks at the family cabin. attended church every week and left as soon as the service was over. I really didn’t get to know anyone and I didn’t feel I belonged except to worship God with other Christians. This year I introduced myself to those sitting around me. I participated in a women’s Bible Study on Wednesday morning where I met beautiful ladies who welcomed me with an open heart. I contributed my time and service to assisting in Vacation Bible School. From helping to put craft kits together to spending my mornings as a member of the craft team. I enjoyed so much helping children with their crafts and zooming in on Jesus.
People I didn’t know the first of June are now friends. I look forward to seeing them. I am welcomed and I belong.
I hope this encourages you to take action in the communities you are in. After work softball teams help forge friendships and bond work teams. Neighborhood associations allow neighbors to know each other work together to promote a stronger community. A church may have a Sunday school class or a small group just for you. A bible study where you can learn the truths about the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit might be what you are looking for to strengthen your faith.
Every community has opportunities for you to participate; this is the first key in feeling you belong. The second key is to keep your heart open for ways you can contribute. In both, you may be selfish to an extent but you will find what you are looking for in the end.
Identify a community where you don’t feel you belong. Are you waiting for them to make the first move?
How can you use the two keys to your benefit?
