Three Steps to Change a Heart

My mind can’t let go of the sights and sounds I watched on TV; from a senseless death to deliberate destruction.  A peaceful demonstration organized to protest senseless police violence erupted into violence and destruction covered by darkness.  My eyes glued on the TV as events played out in front of me. This can’t be happening, not in my city.

My heart is sad and discouraged.
           
The previous three months, my attention consumed by the Covid-19 pandemic, generated fears while quarantined at home. I watched reports and videos that demonstrated a community working together without regard to skin color or social class to meet the needs of the sick, jobless, at risk, and homeless. I praised God, confident He is moving many hearts to step up to meet the countless sudden unexpected needs in this new war. It warmed my heart to see the love in action in so many ways.      

This morning my fragmented heart asks why. Why was George Floyd murdered in front of a nation?
           
This morning I ask even though I know part of the answer.
           
This morning I acknowledge we are fighting another war with an unseen enemy—racism and hate.
             
God created the world with different ethnicities, cultures, and yes, colors. He sees us as His children, each a masterpiece He wonderfully created. He sees our struggles and pain. He hears us even when others can’t understand.

With the lack of understanding, magnified by social distancing and isolation for Covid-19, the craving for community is real. God made us to live in a community. A community based on love; with God and each other.
           
I asked God to show me how I could help. He first showed me to examine my own heart and to follow where He leads.
           
First, I began to recognize the grief and injustice they are voicing is the same horror I witnessed on TV. It is not enough to know my heart is not racist and does not harbor hate. However, I did not understand the history of emotion contained in the issue.  Without understanding, I am unequipped to help in any way. 

I immediately heard Jesus’ words; “Love others as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)
           
I gave serious thought to what Jesus’ statement means to me. Sitting on my bed, I turned off the TV, as Bible stories flooded my mind. Examples of how Jesus demonstrated how to love others. Several hours passed before my contemplation settled on three actions I need to do better—listen, be compassionate, and serve.

Listen

 One of the key things I learned through my past is people want to be heard. But, more importantly, they plea for understanding. Without being understood we are seen as someone less than, without value.  Here is an example: your friend judges and convicts you for something you did not say or do. No matter how hard you try you cannot change their heart. You feel betrayed. You feel unworthy to be a friend even though you are innocent.

My heart cried when I heard an eighteen-year-old young woman express herself in an interview. She spoke with passion and I could hear her fears, concerns, and possible future. Later, I shared how this young lady affected me with a friend. My sweet friend reminded me this eloquent girl lives without hope for her future.

The necessity to listen without judgment is essential; not only to hear the words but to learn from the pain; with hopeless frustration, there is no future without change.

 Compassion

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines compassion as: the sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress combined with a desire to alleviate it.

Compassion requires a change of heart in the listener, from extending sympathy to understanding someone’s pain. The extent change determines our degree of sensitivity by understanding the pain and acknowledging a desire to act.

When I was a host team coach at church, I frequently used an anonymous quote, “You may never know when the smallest act of kindness will change someone’s life forever.”

Once I challenged my team to stretch to the next level: greet a stranger by making eye contact and saying something encouraging, perhaps a greeting or a better weather report. Then wait for awareness of change. The next week I heard many reports of amazing experiences. I remember one that today speaks volumes.

A young man observed an older man, moving slowly up an aisle towards him. From his stature and shuffling pace, he appeared He smiled, made eye contact, saying, “Have a restful evening, sir.”  The man whispered, “Thank you.” When my friend reached the end of the aisle he turned around and noticed the older man was standing straighter, no longer shuffling his feet as he walked. He was still talking about it three days later, his heart changed too.

A simple act of kindness, someone noticed his pain, and compassion was given. The young man’s statement showed he recognized the older man’s fatigue. Remembering this reminded me to listen with my eyes and heart, not just my ears. Understanding pain is not as easy as it sounds. It takes practice.

The seed of compassion is planted in listening and blooms in service.

Service

Service stems from the desire to affect change. Service requires compassion. Someone felt the other man’s fatigue, sore joints, and emptiness.

It is essential to pay close attention to the desire to alleviate the injustice and pain your heart is feeling. The correct act of service depends on what your heart tells you instead of what your mind wants.

I acknowledged my heart has changed over the past weeks. In part by witnessing abusive injustice and murder. I heard feelings I had never heard before and felt the pain of protestors as they spoke of the differences in their lives and mine. I recognize hopelessness and I pray for healing.

I still have questions. Some are questions I must ask with an open heart to learn and understand. Listening is the first step. Some are questions I don’t want to ask because I fear my inadequacies will be pointed out. But how else can I learn?
Compassion is the second step. The transition from sympathy to compassion occurred through listening and acceptance of what I felt in my heart. The desire to alleviate suffering is there. The Holy Spirit nudged and my heart accepted; I could make a difference.
The third step is to serve. I know when I listen to my heart, service is accomplished in many ways. Small ways like a greeting or phone calls, taking a meal to someone, writing a letter, or writing a blog. Sometimes I serve at church or offer my skills to a community project.  Listen for nudges from the Holy Spirit. Today, I wrote a blog post in the hope my words will encourage others in the difficult and confusing issues we face today.

Most often, service is using our talents to elicit a change; organization, leadership, hospitality, teaching, caring for children or the elderly, music, problem-solving, speaking, or writing. Each of us has unique talents to use, and working together instead of alone increases the chance of success.

Today, we are fighting two wars with unseen enemies. One is only months old, the other has lasted generations. One can be fought with science, the other can only be fought with a change of heart. 

Both are connected by fear of the unseen and the unfelt.

Will you join me in a conversation?  It is time to open hearts, listen, find compassion, and a desire for change—together. Our community requires healing and time. Healing for deep wounds to fill in with love and understanding and time for compassion and our hearts to open.

Then, my prayer is we serve together to repair.